We've all heard of gay bashing. Unfortunately it's something that happens all the time in the country and - as sad and wrong as it is - it's a part of life for many non-heterosexual people.
Thanks to "Sex and the City" we were introduced to "single bashing", where Carrie was asked to be an egg donor for a gay friend and his husband bc they wanted a child and she was single so it wasn't like she needed them. I guess she was supposed to feel awesome that they considered her to have a "topnotch egg"? They even handed her a business card. GAH! Standford takes the card from her - after Joe (the old friend) and Lou (his husband) leave - and tears it up, throwing it away. The voiceover says: "I had just experienced single bashing for the new millennium. I was no longer even considered a person. I was an egg farm."*
"I Now Pronouce You Chuck and Larry" introduced us to "straight bashing". After going to a costume benefit party, The group of party goers, which includes Chuck and Larry with their lawyer, her brother, and several others, leave the building to find a protest outside. When a minister calls them "faggots" as they are walking away, Chuck comes back and punches him in the face, leaning over him to say "the accepted vernacular is 'gay'". The city investigator assigned to their case (you need to watch the movie - it's fabulous - as I'm not getting into the whole plot) asks Larry where is, asking "is he out straight bashing again?"
And now, thanks to wonders of facebook, I have been introduced to "parent bashing". This isn't the so called "mommy wars", which I think is really just in the heads of many women who feel guilty or superior about something and therefore everyone who did/didn't/does/doesn't do it is attacking them. No, this is the bashing of the whole concept of being a parent.
A few examples:
A good friend of mine - whom I have known for over ten years - is getting married. It took him nearly three years but he finally proposed. With a $22k ring nonetheless. But hey, they're DINKS so whatever. Good for them. I'm genuinely happy for them. What upsets me is that I most likely won't be at their wedding. She's either doing a destination wedding, which I can't afford but I wouldn't be invited anyway because I'm not immediately family and I'm okay with that, or a big "adults only" wedding. No kids. I love her dearly and I would do most anything for her, but I won't ditch my children. Especially if I have a small nursling at that point, which I very well may since she isn't getting married for a little while.
Another good friend of mine - whom I have also known for over ten years - is having a small get together party thing in the near future. She wants to get together with some friends and have a few drinks. Now that's all fine and dandy. I can't have a few drinks but I can have one. Only, I wasn't invited. I realize it's in the evening and I generally don't have anyone to watch the children, much less find a ride out there, but I still could have attempted to make arrangements. And I actually would have a sitter and a ride that night. Oh well.
Don't get me wrong. I love my children and I wouldn't trade them for the world. In fact, I want more of them. I'm not asking that people change their lives or even their plans simply because I have children. (Sure, I was annoyed that I didn't even have the option of going to my class reunion since it was a Friday night at a bar - real mature, huh? - but I realize that until last spring I was the only one with a child. And even so, my class only has three offspring, two of which are mine.) But it would be nice to be considered for things.
*Season 1 Episode 3